“The April Fools Of Fresno!”

“Idiots Breeding Like Rabbits!”

MARCH 27, 2013
- At about 2:43pm, Fresno Police were dispatched for a second time today to the Starbuck’s at Shaw & Freeway 41 for a report of a male sitting at their outdoor seating area with a baseball bat and a bottle of Seagram’s (alcohol).

MARCH 29, 2013
- At about 5:19pm, Fresno Police were called to an unknown location within the city for a complaint by a female homeowner who called to say that a woman approached her home, and asked if she could set up a “yard sale” on the homeowner’s lawn. The homeowner told the woman “No,” but the woman proceeded to set up the “yard sale” on the homeowner’s lawn anyway.

MARCH 30, 2013
- At about 1:51pm, Fresno Police were dispatched to the area of Blackstone & Ashlan for a report of a 5150 (under the influence) male subject walking in and out of traffic, and even blocking traffic, along with hitting vehicles.

APRIL 1, 2013
- At about 2:47pm, Fresno Police were dispatched to the area of Shaw & Brawley for a report of a Caucasian male performing martial arts moves in the middle of the street.

- At about 6:38pm, Fresno Police were dispatched to the Alberto's restaurant at Cedar & Dakota for a report of an African-American male using the sink in the bathroom to bathe (aka using the sink as a shower\bathtub).

- At about 11:56pm, Fresno Police were dispatched to the McDonald’s at Shaw & Feland for a report of a indecent exposure of a Hispanic male and a Hispanic female in a vehicle in the parking lot, possibly having intercourse.

APRIL 3, 2013
- This morning, the Fresno Fire Department’s USAR team was called to a canal in the Tower District for a report of a body in the canal. Thankfully, the “body” turned out to be a couch\sofa.

- At about 6:20pm, Fresno Police received a call from Northwest Fresno from a parent who was complaining that some Caucasian male was trying to get her son to drink from the male’s water bottle.

APRIL 7, 2013
- At about 6:30pm, the Fresno State Police were checking their cameras, and discovered several young boys who had climbed over a fence into Bulldog Stadium, and were goofing off in the “Red Seats” (Student Section). One of the boys even mooned at a camera. Officers were dispatched.

- At about 6:40pm, Fresno Police were dispatched to Mama’s Burgers at Clinton & West for a Caucasian male exposing himself in the parking lot.

APRIL 8, 2013
- At about 1:40pm, Fresno Police were dispatched to the Carl’s Jr. at Blackstone & Griffith for a report of a male swinging a stick at people.

APRIL 14, 2013
- At about 4:05am, Fresno Police were dispatched to the area of Cedar & Alluvial for a report of a subject in the middle of the street cleaning up debris, possibly secondary to an accident.